Hypnotherapy or electroshock therapy?

well you see this is gonna be a long story so please take your time to read....I dislike the type of person I am as far as my personality only,ok I'm mix with white and black,19 years old,I am paranoid alot,my highest attraction are white women I guess cause my mom is white...but I like that part the things I hate about me is that I am paranoid,I'm depress alot,I'm lazy,I'm sexual not a pervert but I am addicted to masturbation ... (here comes the haters) back off bugs, I just need help ;),and I wonder cause I really wanna completely get rid of all my memories and I know this may seem bad but I'ma lie to myself and make a list of all the good things I was and use to like,so yea I am trying to have memory lost and I wonder should I do this through hypnotherapy or electroshock therapy? I hear electroshock would make you a better person but it causes brain damages and memory lost,and the thing about hypnotherapy I hear it brings demons into me my family are all christians.......